i would like to propose a new category for the summer games: olympic fridge moving. unlike typical olympic sports, this will not allow for any advance practicing. one just goes in and tries to move the thing into a place that was never meant for something that size. it's a grueling sport, unrelenting in the problems it poses. only the strong survive.
we begin the day's olympics with the traditional surprise, "backing up the north driveway," since the south drive will be too small. a mini "running of the torch", if you will. this sets the tone for all the morning's events, getting the olympiads in the proper mind set for what is to come.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
what's this? olympic fridge hurling? yes, here he is winding up for what he believes will be an easy toss into my living room. no stairs but plenty of surprises! check out that confidence. that intense focus.
but wait! what's this? gads, what a goof! he's caught in a trap at the first hole! the fridge will never get in the door! it's way too tall. and this, we see here, is what separates the men from the boys.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
now what will our team do? what is the plan? can they pull it off when the heat is on???
yes! in a move made completely without the approval of central headquarters, our men take the lead and decide to think "out of the box!" and i mean quite literally, as they have decided to forgo the box entirely and move the behemoth in unprotected. a daring move, i say, since it leaves them wide open to damages, lawsuits and serious reprimands from on high.
off you go then!
a few twists and turns of the beast. carefully planning what direction it will have to be pointing, these guys are now fully engaged with their opponent. they know it is now or never. everything is on the line now that there is no box to cover their asses.
and it is up and ready to go again! a shining beacon of hope for all humanity. this is american determination at its best! yes we can!
U-S-A! U-S-A!
so here they go, back down the hall, ready to go at it again. but wait! it appears we are on the verge of a major wardrobe malfunction! this is the kind of thing that closes down stadiums and network television broadcasts! can the show go on???
why, yes, i believe it will! can nothing stop these men? they are going for the gold, today. and in record time, i might add...
okay, we're at the door..... fridge is centered.... screen doors out of the way. he lowers it, lowers it (careful! don't hit the light!), and it could happen, ladies and gentlemen! you could be witnessing history right on this very blog today!
and yes, i believe they have it in hand! the gold is theirs, today! oh the thrill of victory!
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