FIRE!

do you suppose there are laws to prevent one from typing  FIRE  on a crowded blog? i will soon find out.

i just can't get over having a gas stove in my home. it is beautiful and strangely thrilling. more so than a fireplace. there is a certain quality of technological brilliance that i see in it. you can turn it up or way, way down. you can use it to roast marshmallows...

...and you can use it to create magnificent flaming drinks to impress your friends. 

it is a perfect piece of equipment for my new HENRYBUILT kitchen. which i love. 

the hood electricity was established by surprise visit today. not only do i now have hood lights but also the embarrassment of knowing people suddenly walked into my kitchen unannounced and saw how i really live. fortunately, the stunning beauty of my new HENRYBUILT kitchen dazzled them so much, they didn't notice anything out of place. and really, why should i be embarrassed about eating bananas? it's not like i'm the only banana-eater in the world. jeez, i know plenty of banana-eaters right here in my neighborhood. we all walk around here, doing nothing but eating bananas and reading the comics. just for extra laughs, we throw the peels on the ground and wait for the hilarity to ensue. so why should i worry? because i can, that's why. it's a luxury i guess i'm habituated to indulge.

here we have the lights, fully functioning. the hood is also sucking up everything in it's immediate path, but that is harder to show in a photo. you can't tell here because i have crazy-glued everything down. but trust me, if it were not for that little dab of bondo, everything would be squished right up against the hood's grill. it is a powerful little thing.

and i wanted to show you the fabulous job the plumber did, underneath and beside my new HENRYBUILT cabinets, that i love so much. isn't that neat in the extreme? it's a shame i'm going to ruin it all by putting stuff there. leaky, grimey, gross stuff that you wouldn't want anyone to see if they suddenly, say, came over while you were out in order to fix the electrical in the hood. too bad. 

did i mention i love my HENRYBUILT cabinets? i do. and i'm not just saying this in hopes that they will read this and decide to get me my fridge panels faster. i wouldn't do that. then again, if it just so happens that they read this and recognize their names (implied), and realize that i am madly in love with them, and they just naturally feel like getting me my fridge door panels faster, i wouldn't fight it. in fact, i might really, really appreciate it and do something like, send them a bundt cake from dean and delucas. i might worry a bit that i over did it, but that's me luxuriating in my own psychosis once again. i am spoiled rotten.

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done?

i was thrown a bit by the days events. the kitchen is ready for use! what? you gasp. how is this possible? incredulously. yes, it is true. the kitchen is functional. 

now, frankly, i'm not prepared! suddenly, the water is on, the fridge is in (yes, it fit!), and the stove has gas. even the hood has been placed, although it lacks electrical and the chimney cover.  (hood problems have been completely worked out. these guys are incredible.) our friend walter mork will cut the chimney to the proper height ("sure, we do this all the time"), in about a week. The fridge panel will be here in several more weeks, and then, it is complete. it is mine to load up and get going. here, take a look:

john got the hood in place, at a good working height. no head-banging!

everything looking fantastic! i'm so excited. can you tell?

and finally, the fridge. i went and bought my own bottles of water to celebrate the grand opening.

breakfast is coming. poor eggs. they know they are now in for trouble...

(eggs courtesy of ffffound)

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fixtures and fixes

well, the guys are at it, trying to figure out a way to make this hood fit in the minimal amount of space left for it. i have given them an excellent challenge which i will probably pay for through the nose. no matter, this is the price of true Art.  someday, i will be able to walk into my kitchen and feel nothing but refreshed and relaxed and ready to eat. 

here is the hood. take a good look as by next week, it likely will not look like this anymore. joanne and i considered using another brand, but really, when it all came down, we loved this one. none other would do. that's the way true love is, i guess.

plumber-man and his posse also came today. everything is going in real sharp looking, no? i likey. fancy-schmancy. 

why go on? i have a lot of new things. that about sums it up. 

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hood

i think i had a visitor this afternoon.  

i came home and the wall was down. i had forgotten how big this place can look. thanks for the major clean up! all that remains to do is plumbing, fridge and the dang hood.

i know, i know, "dang hood?" what's with the profanity? frustration, that's what's with it.  hood man came over today and noticed that the hood chimney will be too tall for the space. i forgot when we added the soffitt that the hood might not fit. i imagined everything was totally adjustable. no so. arrrgghhh! i spent a good part of the day trying to figure out a new hood i could get in there. not knowing much about these things, my ideas were limited.

this was the dream:

this was the idea to fix the dream:

and this is a ridiculous looking mock-up of what the sizing could be. so much for using the fridge box as a fort...

according to my calculations, it still could work. but what do i know? previous calculations were way off, so despite the beauty and simplicity of my fix, it still may not be viable. where is einstein when you need him?

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our olympics

i would like to propose a new category for the summer games: olympic fridge moving. unlike typical olympic sports, this will not allow for any advance practicing. one just goes in and tries to move the thing into a place that was never meant for something that size. it's a grueling sport, unrelenting in the problems it poses. only the strong survive. 

we begin the day's olympics with the traditional surprise,  "backing up the north driveway," since the south drive will be too small.  a mini "running of the torch", if you will. this sets the tone for all the morning's events, getting the olympiads in the proper mind set for what is to come.

U-S-A!    U-S-A!

what's this? olympic fridge hurling? yes, here he is winding up for what he believes will be an easy toss into my living room. no stairs but plenty of surprises! check out that confidence. that intense focus. 

but wait! what's this? gads, what a goof! he's caught in a trap at the first hole! the fridge will never get in the door! it's way too tall. and this, we see here,  is what separates the men from the boys.  

U-S-A! U-S-A!

now what will our team do? what is the plan?  can they pull it off  when the heat is on???

yes! in a move made completely without the approval of central headquarters, our men take the lead and decide to think  "out of the box!"  and i mean quite literally, as they have decided to forgo the box entirely and move the behemoth in unprotected. a daring move, i say, since it leaves them wide open to damages, lawsuits and serious reprimands from on high. 

off you go then!

a few twists and turns of the beast. carefully planning what direction it will have to be pointing, these guys are now fully engaged with their opponent. they know it is now or never. everything is on the line now that there is no box to cover their asses.

and it is up and ready to go again! a shining beacon of hope for all humanity. this is american determination at its best! yes we can!

U-S-A! U-S-A!

so here they go, back down the hall, ready to go at it again. but wait! it appears we are on the verge of a major wardrobe malfunction!   this is the kind of thing that closes down stadiums and network television broadcasts! can the show go on???

why, yes, i believe it will! can nothing stop these men? they are going for the gold, today. and in record time, i might add...

okay, we're at the door..... fridge is centered.... screen doors out of the way. he lowers it, lowers it (careful! don't hit the light!), and it could happen, ladies and gentlemen! you could be witnessing history right on this very blog today!

and yes, i believe they have it in hand! the gold is theirs, today! oh the thrill of victory!

U-S-A! U-S-A!

behold! the fridge! and a new olympic sport is born....

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more paint, please

the doors were finally painted today, although they may have to do a second coat. not really sure what's going on with these guys, but they seem to be enjoying their work...

i've had a terrible plague of embarrassment about my windows and how cruddy they are, so i decided i better at least give it a shot and clean them. do they seem better to you?  all the fancy new wood and decor made them really stand out in a bad way. hopefully now they will quietly recede into the background.

the painters were also asked to patch the nail holes in the window sill. there are more than a dozen holes, but for some reason they only patched one. maybe they will do one every day and keep the project going for a while. must be a union thing.

i really feel like i am starting to settle into the new kitchen.  all my friends seem to like it. even the grouchy ones...

tomorrow my miracle fridge arrives. i think i will ask if i can keep the box so i can play in it later on. i can make a fort! come on over and check it out!

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my lucky day

this is one of those "i can't believe it days." in a good way.

 

the fridge, the magical, mythical miele — due out last year, then january, then february, then june,  july, august and well maybe sometime this fall — it has arrived. actually, it arrived in town yesterday, the day so many others were converging here. but the fridge couldn't make it, not sure why, maybe it missed the bus or something and nobody in casual carpool would pick it up. but anyway, it didn't make it here yesterday but it will arrive thursday. i think i am one of the first to get it, even before my dealer. grayson worked very, very hard to get me my fridge. thank you grayson. and he even got it for me at the old, pre-gas-crisis pricing. i have a magical life and people are going way out of their way for me, for no apparent reason. 

the fridge will have parts that look something like this:

but without all the white and without that many bottles of water.  the shelves will look exactly the same. that's pretty much it. i will have real food in there. and it will feel colder than this one. the front door will be wood, like the rest of my kitchen. when i told henrybuilt to get ready to finally do the front panel, they were quite happy. the woman i worked with there said she's leaving the business at the end of the week so the timing was excellent. all the stars have aligned. now all i need are my celebrity chefs.  any volunteers?

other news, the "head-kicks" are now in.  lots of work to get them up, but now i feel like i can invite all my tallest friends over without fear of incident. really nice touch. they are like mini-soffits, hiding all the empty space, dust bunnies and chicken feathers.

i keep sitting in the kitchen at night now. in disbelief. i like to admire the lighting. see for yourself:

tomorrow is more painting. mostly the doors and some touch ups. 

i'm obsessed, i guess.  it is all coming to a close very soon. i will miss it, but maybe i will keep making things go wrong so people have to keep coming by for a visit.  there's always the bathroom, i guess. everyone's got to have a hobby...

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mass convergence

it was a very busy day around the bokhour residence, including visits from electricians, the finish carpenter, painting contractor, floor refinisher, tiler and of course, nathan. whew! what a day.

first big deal:  electrical light day. the lights were finally put in and the power turned back on. i now can see when i walk in the kitchen and i am really liking it. i even have switches so i can turn the lights on and off!  the glass cabinets have two lights underneath:

all the wires are hidden inside the cabinets:

and did you notice the outlet covers? now i will not be electrocuted when i plug things in. once again, how thoughtful! there are switch plates that protect me, too. 

and here we have men at work: two electricians and nate. notice the shop vac. signs of tidy-ness abound. 

ceiling lights installed now, too:

the florescents are a bit annoying, but we do it to save the planet. 

i also had a chance to meet with floor guy about fixing the floor by the planter (do you remember those days? destroying the "bar-be-que pit"? installing the electrical panel? with no flooring underneath?). i will have to start a new blog for the next remodeling adventure i take on. i am open to new names for the blog if something springs to mind. 

paint guy and tile guy also came by today. i am especially appreciative to tile guy. he says most jobs aren't like mine. i think that's a good thing? for him, anyway. he stayed until past 7:00 fixing grout with acids and waters. and he taught me that the secret to applying caulk is in the sponge. "it's all about the sponge." words to live by. put that on my headstone. 

"she was all about the sponge."

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coming along

things are coming along. this week, the upper cabinets were all placed upwardly and the doors were included in the party. still looks a bit stark to me, but that will be solved in no time — as soon as i get a little sauce on the walls and fill the cabinets with all your stuff. 

here again, the south wall: expect a hood and stove in there any second. the fridge may never make it in, at the current rate. but who knows, it may surprise me...

 

on the north walls, the cabinets have glass. not on the south wall cause of the glare factor. i like them. very big and adult feeling. they must have been a bit of a pain for one guy to put up, but henrybuilt has a nice hanging system, so there were no complaints from anyone.

look! more glass cabinets...

for the under cabinet lighting, electrical has to be put inside the cabinets. there will be some kind of false bottom that will cover all the wires. they have thought of everything. maybe i will have a secret passage installed, too, while he's at it.

one disappointment, though. one of the glass tiles got cracked.** whhhaaaa! who ever did this was probably having an i-love-lucy moment of their own. i guess having only one tiny thing go wrong is not so bad for a job like this. poor dan, though, will have to redo that piece.  i am really getting my money's worth from the tile guys...  (note to self: don't go into tile business. no money.)

more news this coming week: stay tuned for paint, flooring, tiling, lights, cameras and action!

** actually, NOT TRUE!  turns out there was not crack, no i-love-lucy moment for anyone involved. some kind of glue event happened and now it is all fixed. nothing went wrong. but maybe now would be an excellent time for me to get my eyes checked...

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laminati day

my great italian love arrived today: abet laminati no. 3150, soft finish.

it arrived cut and ready to install. just a few electrical holes to punch in and then it was good to go.

a different john-fellow has begun putting it up, along with the upper cabinets that sit on top of it. quite a complicated set of installations i have going here. why didn't i just have the area painted? because this way, i can be a real slob in the kitchen and the laminate will protect me from myself. everything will clean up quite nicely. that is the hope, anyway. think of something real messy  to make and i will try it out.

here is the laminate and cabinet partially installed. you can tell where the laminate is because it suddenly ends in the middle of the wall. above the cabinets will be something similar to a toe kick, but since it is unlikely my foot will kick anything up there, i will have to rename it. head kick? hand kick? i'm still working on it...

here we have more views of the laminate. and the cabinets that sit on top of the laminate. and more views of where the eventual "head-kick" will need to be placed. there will be plenty of storage space here, so maybe i should rent out some of it. please apply. tell me everything you would want to store, for how long, what it smells like, and if your mother would approve of the item. then tell me  how often you would need to come to visit your item. tell me if your item plays well with others and if it has ever been involved in a monster truck rally. i will then make my decision fairly and without prejudice.  because, really,  i like you and will do anything to get you to visit more often. calling is okay, too.

here is another image, similar to the one you just saw. (i'm hoping you won't notice that part.) a little wider angle. someday soon the puck lights get installed. underneath the cabinets. 

another view. is this boring yet? 

dan has hopefully solved the problem of the grout, using some kind of sulfuric chemical. it not only solved my grout problem, but may help me fix my fireplace bricks as well. a 2-fer! how fantastic is that? very.

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variations

dear home doctor:

what is causing my grout to have variations in color? am i seeing things?  just sign me, 

— concerned or color blind

dear concerned,

uneven grout color is not uncommon - but i can see here you have a big, big problem. have you considered moving?  if moving is not an option, i will review for you the possible causes of such an unsightly mess, with the hopes that you can remedy it post haste!

possible causes, as suggested by the brotherhood of tile people, local 32  include:

- failure to slake the grout
- improper joint packing
- using unclean water
- defective grout

while these suggestions are to be expected, there are some causes that they seem to have overlooked. these include:

- not considering the effect of the dopler shift when traveling at a speed of 18.55 miles per second around the sun. at this speed there would naturally be a color shift while grouting 

- insufficient water-to-twinkie ratio

- gremlins

- the electrical panel that makes me look fat

- more fodder for the next i-love-lucy episode, where lucy tries to hide the flaws from ricky by trying to dance in his next big show at the club

- we are being spoken to: if you look closely, i believe one can see a vague outline of an autonomous omnipotent being...

without further study, it is difficult to say. but our man, dan, from tek tile is on the case and i'm sure he will get the kitchen back on track in no time at all. until then, carpe cerevisi!  (seize the beer!)

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tilers

as you saw from my last post, having tilers in the house is...pretty darn exciting. this project might eventually get done!  

art and his helper showed up and carefully arranged the glass tiles by degree of finish perfection, height and length. these things vary with glass tiles. who knew? not me.  so he arranged everything, we decided where things needed to be most perfect (by the sink, where i will see them every day), and where perfection will be less critical. then he stuck them up. voila!

kitchen south side:

kitchen, north side:

outlets ready to go:

it all feels a little strange without the appliances filing in at critical points, but that will all be resolved soon enough. this week, laminate will be added. i won't give away the ending, but suffice it to say, you will not be sorry if you check in later in the week.

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