the happenings

today had a lot of things happening. plastering is all done, so it was time to put a primer coat on the kitchen. no pictures, since here, white is white and really, who cares? now, i know i'm going to be getting all kinds of letters from white-enthusiasts all across america saying "white matters! we care!" and, though it may be very true, it's just not very exciting to a web site like mine. so get over yourself white lovers! geez! 

anyway, where was i, oh yes, it was a busy day. once beyond the whole white-out in the kitchen, our man, nate, started laying it all out, diagrams and everything.  he seems to have considered all my additional calculations very seriously. i think it is going well. he has the placement of every panel, appliance and cabinet all worked out.  it's quite a process. 

all laid out, and ready for the items!

and right when he was getting things done, appliances arrived! perfect timing. what do you suppose is in this box? i know but i'm not going to ruin the surprise. okay, okay...... it's jack benny! 

hey, madly coiled blue-thing! what are you doing here? this is not in your contract! and you haven't even lifted a coil all day!

let's move on, shall we?...

here we have my new stove! and it has already made friends with side cabinet "G." how nice. i get the feeling they will soon be inseparable. 

the stove has an extra feature i didn't know about. some kind of bar that attaches to the front, which enables you to put HUGE size pots on the stove, allowing them to stick out beyond the front. clearly an italian feature, meant for large feasts and big families. i will have to run out and borrow oversized pots and a large italian family just to try it out.

the stove comes with top burners! how fantastic!

here they are again. still together. what a cute pair they make, from every angle.

here are some color samples. hard to really get a sense of it, but you can see the wood, white concrete, floor tile, back splash, paint and laminate.

hey what's going on in the drawer? 

is that you madly coiled blue-thing? ...

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tools of the trade

since we are still in the plaster stages of this crazy show, i thought i would take a little time to introduce you to more of the tools that have had starring roles around here.

®®®®®

first off, we have "madly coiled blue-thing that sits by the window." never seen it in use, but it takes up a good deal of space so it is likely the biggest star. it probably demanded its own dressing room and sparkling water, but was sadly told to "get your coil out of the clouds" and get real.   hmmfff

then there is broom.  more of a loner-harrison-ford type, it likes to do its own stunts. and it's really pretty good for its age.

coiled blue-thing's contract stipulates that we give it another shot in this third scene, preferably on its good side (there, are you satisfied?):

here we have the dynamic duo, ladder and level. right now they are looking pretty casual, just out having a smoke. but they are actually some of the most skilled and sought after tools around and should be given much higher billing than they are getting here. i think they need a new agent. 

i was going to talk a bit about lights and mysterious hoses here, but as you can see, once again coiled blue-thing has stolen the lime light. it think i will nick name it clinton.

mask. it's a union gig. what more can i say?

floor. not so much a tool, but a necessity. where would we be without you? i would be forced to continually spin the room so everything would stick to the walls. i am so glad i have a floor. 

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let's be frank

okay, let's just say it. plaster as a subject is a little boring. not boring itself, but not much to write home about. it's white, so it doesn't photograph well. even the sounds of applying it aren't so hot. and really, at the end of the day, it's hard to notice that second and third coats have been put on.  but that is what they have been doing, third day running. it is just about ready. tomorrow they will do a final coat, to get the plaster to match the texture already on the walls. when that is all done, there will be some priming and then...cabinets can be put in place! but not yet. patience, patience....

nice, neat plaster job of my soffit and vent shaft:

listen here. it's the sounds of plastering multiplied by two. plaster is half as interesting as this, which you'll find out, isn't really interesting at all.

click here!

finally! some color!  just how many joint and taping knives does one need?

apparently, nine.   a few more of them found here:

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time saving calculations

some of us were checking out the kitchen walls on sunday and noticed there are quite a few numbers, maybe calculations, written on them. someone around here is doing a lot of figuring.

the mysterious notes:

i am concerned they may be missing some very important calculations, so i have taken the liberty to write a few more on the walls. wouldn't want them to overlook something. they have so much on their minds already.

this one is a classic. i want them to keep in mind einstein's idea that energy equals matter times the speed of light squared.  this could affect how the cabinets will fit, based on how quickly they are installed:

this next one shows the total energy of a particle. i want to remind them that based on all the particles of dust in my apartment now, there is no reason why they shouldn't have enough energy to get the job done on time:

lately, i have been thinking a lot about heisenberg's uncertainty principle, so i thought i should also give the guys a heads up. given the large number of particles in the apartment, and the uncertainty of their position, and god knows how long it will take for this project to get done, they should be prepared for the standard number of deviants likely to come strolling through. this formula will help them calculate that number with greater certainty. 

and finally,  i want the guys to see that within our grasp is the obvious conclusion that schrodinger was right! particles in 3 dimensional space in the presence of V will act like this:

V, of course, being the velocity of my kitchen as it hurdles through airless, vented space. knowing this should cut down on their prep time and could potentially save me hundreds of dollars! how will they ever thank me? 

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chocolate factory

well, gee, so many things going on today. where shall i focus??? hmm, the big deal was that the inspector was supposed to come and check the screws. sorry to say, he failed us. he is letting my kitchen sink! but progress was made in spite of him, so our spirits remained undaunted. plaster went forth into every nook and all the crannies. I didn't even know i had crannies. but i'm glad i do. they go so well with my furring and gas shut-off valve and the electrical panel that makes me look fat.   so here is some plaster for your approval:

screws taped and plastered: 

nicely done corner. it has a metal edging so everything is super neat. 

bubbles in the plaster. i hope this isn't a problem....

i have a confession to make. the hole in my hallway wall was patched today,  but i touched it while it was still wet!  so there was this big old finger print right in the middle of the super neat wall repair.  i started to try to fix it with the plasterer's tools.  I kept fixing and re-fixing it and getting it worse and worse and all of a sudden i found myself in the middle of an i-love-lucy moment, and i'm thinking, "whaaa, oh  ricky!" and making a mental note to myself to never apply for work in a chocolate factory. it took a while to finally come to some kind of resolution with it, where it was smooth enough but not too thin. then i had to wash off the tools and i may have cleaned them in the wrong bucket, but maybe not, hopefully not. as long as i didn't clean them in drinking water, i think i'm okay. 

"fixed" hole:

plaster water bucket. which would you choose?

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inspirations

well, gentle readers, it seems this blog is developing quite a little following. what started out as a modest daily diary of events here has suddenly turned into what might well be defined as a real movement. my simple revelations are inspiring some very impressionable people to take action of their own. can you believe it? for instance, little johnny s., in kissimmee, florida, reports that his grades in school have risen above a c+, and annie g. of atlanta, georgia, says she was finally able to get a good night sleep after reading one of my entries. the stories and determinations are just pouring in now, and the list includes some novel and surprising ideas to:

- finally get around to that kitchen remodel (but have it in the living room)
- have their eyes checked
- vote for Obama
- install wall-to-wall tacky paper (another green idea, eliminates the need to vacuum. excellent!)
- have a nice slice of lemon meringue pie
- establish a sanctuary for abused and errant chickens
- install a gas shut off valve in an all-electric kitchen (saftey first!)
- call my psychiatrist and let him know my medication is no longer working

of course, this raises new and troubling questions about just who these people are and how sorry their lives have become. but who am i to judge? if you have been inspired as well, please post a comment! i'd love to hear from you. your successes are mine (i take full credit). let's keep this movement going!

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nothing

well, kids, sorry to say nothing happened today!  the inspectors had the day off, so not one bit of anything new happened. as you can see from my photo below, it was a little boring. hopefully, things will be back on track monday morning. have a great weekend!

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